Reflections on a Wine Obsessed Culture

Wine

This morning I read an article in the Boston Globe that really resonated with me. In her article, “Women, drinking, and wine-as-reward culture,” Kara Baskin discusses the paradox of wine being celebrated and pushed with wine labels like “MommyJuice” and “Mommy’s Time Out” while “The Center for Substance Abuse Prevention reports that 2.7 million American women abuse alcohol.” She goes on to explain that defining alcoholism among women is often challenging because “not everyone who grapples with alcohol use is a stereotypical in-the-gutter alcoholic. Many are outwardly functional and successful.” If we’re still getting up in the morning, making breakfast, taking the kids to school, going to work, we must be okay.

At least that’s what I thought. How could I possibly be an alcoholic? Most of the women I know drink. It’s our way of letting go after a stressful day or like Baskin says, “It’s a legal mode of escapism, and the camaraderie over talking about drinking is as intoxicating as the buzz itself — especially among mothers.”

But, how much are we really drinking? I was a wino – I loved my wine! Okay, I also liked vodka and gin, but my drink of choice was always wine. And, it was acceptable. Who doesn’t have a glass of wine at dinner? Who doesn’t have a glass of wine while visiting with girlfriends? It was just what people in my world did – and still do. But, I was completely ignorant of how much I was really drinking. According to Baskin’s article, “a ‘standard drink’ is 12 ounces of beer with 5 percent alcohol, 5 ounces of wine with 12 percent alcohol, or 1.5 ounces of 80-proof liquor.” When did I ever pour 5 oz. of wine? The answer would be NEVER. Do you? If you still drink, I challenge you to pour your regular glass of wine and measure it. I’m guessing it’s more like 8-10 oz. And, the same goes with liquor. My shots were more like 3-4 oz. in a typical cocktail, but then again, I’m just guessing because I never actually measured it.

The point is, I was lying to myself in order to justify how much I was drinking. If I filled my large wine glass to the top, well, it was still just one glass of wine, right? Towards the end of my drinking, I would have a “couple” cocktails before my husband got home and then a “couple” or a “few” glasses of wine in the evening. Realistically, I was having four cocktails and 4-5 glasses of wine – each day. Seeing that number written, astonishes me. Can you imagine what that was doing to my body? Ugh.

We tell ourselves what we want to hear. In no way, did I want to hear or even acknowledge I had a drinking problem. What kind of person would I be if I was an alcoholic? I sure wouldn’t be the high-functioning-have-it-altogether-type I was known for. The stigma was too much.

People have asked me, and I’m sure others often wonder why I choose to speak out or write about my alcoholism. And, I’m sure there are those who wish I would just shut up already about it. It’s simple. I share my story to help remind myself of where I came from and what I used to be like and to help other women like me who are still there.

 

8 responses

  1. Related to this article too (Sacha Sclobic’s book helped me a lot in early sobriety). This line about alcohol struck me in particular: Use is glorified; abuse is stigmatized. Yet clearly many more people are abusing when you point out the amounts in a moderate serving.

    And yes, at the end I too was having multiple cocktails (did not even bother to count) and then glasses of wine on top. Had bloodwork done about a year after I got sober for something unrelated and so relieved to see normal liver functions.

    Love your closing best of all. Brilliant post.

    • Thank you! I too had my blood work done after coming clean to my doc after the fact. Fortunately, everything looked good. We’re lucky to have stopped when we did. Thanks for reading!

  2. I was always just a one glass of wine a night girl. Just don’t ask how many times I refilled or topped off that glass.

    I could never understand how people could get 4+ glasses out of the “little” bottle of wine, when it was roughly 2 glasses and a couple of sips for me. Because of course, I poured it to the brim, drank a few greedy gulps, then topped it back up before I put up the wine bottle. So one glass to me probably equaled 2.5 to most.

    Loved the wrap up at the end! Never forget, so you never go back. The past is not our future.

    • Ha! Yep, I was the same way with my wine glass. I always had the thought that if I just kept filling it up, people would never know how much I was REALLY drinking. Apparently, the joke was on me! So crazy the things we used to tell ourselves – pure insanity! Thanks for reading!

  3. Don’t ever shut up about it. You are needed, Chenoa. My story won’t probably get women identifying as an alcoholic. Yours certainly will. Even if one single woman out there gets it, and sees themself in you, then you’ve done what you have been asked to do by the Creator. You are carrying the message, you are telling it like it is…and that is precisely what you did in this fantastic post. I was a wino too. Then it just got too much work for too little reward. Better go underground and hardcore. But not all alcoholics get there. they stay in the acceptable arena of alcohol – the after dinner drinks. The “girls night out” bevvies. The “I’m having a bubble bath with a bottle of champagne” kind of evening. But they are burning their lives to the ground. Like you did.

    Keep telling your story, keep talking about this. This is life saving. Perhaps you saved a life tonight.

    Blessings,
    Paul

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s