Tired, But Grateful


What a week it has been! At times, I felt like a fish out of water, gasping for air. I kept telling myself, “Just make it ’till Friday and then you can relax!” Well, Friday is here and I’m tired, but feeling extremely grateful. And, since it’s the last day of the month (and I have at least 31 things to be grateful for today), here’s my gratitude list for the day in no particular order:

1. My sobriety. I celebrated 9 months on Tuesday. No words can describe how grateful I am for this blessed sober life.

2. My son who “graduated” from preschool. He is kind, sweet, affectionate and his smile always melts my heart.

3. My daughter who graduated from kindergarten. She is strong, caring, independent and described as “hard-working” by her teacher. She inspires me to be a better person.

4. Teachers. God bless them. My children have been extremely blessed to have amazing teachers who teach them, guide them and inspire them to be their very best. It is a God-given gift to teach preschool and kindergarten because after spending two hours in a class of 20, I’m ready to pull my hair out!

5. Friends and family. Those who encourage, support and help guide me on this journey.

6. My husband’s work. That he is able to have a career that keeps him busy, that he enjoys and that allows for me to stay home and be available to our children. For this, I’m extremely grateful.

7. Dishwasher. You don’t realize how much you depend on this time-saving appliance until it breaks. And, to those repair people who can come to your home, take it apart and get it working again. Greg (appliance man), yesterday you were my hero!

8. Sun. After MANY days of rain, I’m ready for some vitamin d!

9. Summer vacation. No “real” schedules and convincing my kids that I “get” to sleep in until 6:30 instead of 6:00. Hey, I’ll take what I can get!

10. Blogging community. You guys rock! It still amazes me that I am part of a community of people who I have never met, yet who I consider to be true friends and confidants. Very special.

11. AA. My people who are always there, no matter what. Who know me and accept me just as I am. Where I learned how to live again.

12. My sponsor. She just celebrated 10 years of sobriety and I adore her. She is kind, gentle, yet still continues to challenge me by her suggestions and thoughts on life and recovery.

13. Hope and faith in God’s plan. It’s what keeps me going when I feel completely and utterly lost.

14. Daily devotionals. I read them every morning and when I don’t I feel like I’m “missing” something. They keep me grounded and give me perspective and remind me that I’m part of a bigger plan – God’s plan.

15. Music. The kind that speaks to you, that you can turn up in the car and sing at the top of your lungs (which is a good thing for me and everyone else because God did not bless me with a singing voice!). I’ve been obsessed with Pink, Rihanna and Bruno Mars lately, which is strange because I’m usually a country girl but whatever. Like I said, it’s about the music.

16. New life. My best friend gave birth to a healthy baby boy last week. He is beautiful and reminds me to slow down, and cherish all the little moments.

17. Coffee. Need I say more?!

18. My house. I’m a homebody at heart and I love just “being” at home.

19. My flowers and garden. I love watching them grow and find great joy and peace in taking care of them, especially in the evenings when it’s quiet and all I hear are the birds “talking” back and forth to each other.

20. Hummingbirds. My mom and grandma loved hummingbirds and am always reminded of their presence when I see one.

21. Jesus. His words remind and encourage me to be kind, patient and forgiving.

22. Netflix. My husband and I have been watching the Ken Burns’ documentary “The West,” which reminds me just how good we have it today and the extreme endurance and bravery of those who came before us.

23. My lived experiences. Despite the ups and downs, I have the ability to reach out to others who still suffer and to reach back when they reach out to me.

24. The men and women who serve our country. I’m constantly amazed and extremely grateful to those who would leave their families and miss milestones like birthdays and kindergarten graduations to protect my freedoms.

25. Facebook. Love it or hate it, I’m grateful it gives me the opportunity to share my life and story with family and friends who I would otherwise not see.

26. The rain. While I may complain at times, I’m grateful for the nourishment it brings to the trees, plants and flowers.

27. Prozac. For me, it’s like insulin to a diabetic. I need it to help me function and without it I would be crazier than I already am! For those in recovery who don’t think you should take anything, even antidepressants, well, lets agree to disagree.

28. The gym. I’ve been taking my kids to the daycare at the gym since they were two months old and I’m still extremely grateful for the opportunity to have “me” time.

29. Good books. The kind that suck you in and encourage you to stay up way too late. I’m planning to read more of these over the summer!

30. Goodwill. The take anything, they sell everything and they support a wonderful community of people. I could spend hours there.

31. Diet Coke. Because sometimes, despite how horrible it is for you, you just need one.

17 responses

  1. Never mind the people who are against antidepressants, they don’t know what it’s like to need them. Wonderful list by the way, very inspirational… thank you!

  2. I love grat lists, and this is one the most awesome ones I have seen in a long time. Liek Karen said, this is inspiring me to make my own!

    And of course, congrats on 9 months!!!! For me there was something about 9 months that felt like I turned a corner. For some reason, I stopped my diligent month counting and chip collecting at that point (I ended up buying chips later on to make up for it). It’s like 9 months I had turned a corner or something. Not that I got complacent (far from) but I had a sense that things were starting to really turn around for me. I was wrong of course…things are STILL really turning around for me! It just gets better, is all I can say.

    What a wonderful list…thank you so much for sharing. Was in a bit of a funk until I read this just now, and it’s made me feel a lot better. You rock 🙂


    • Thanks, Paul! This time around, I’m in such a different head space than I was the first time. I can “see the light” and I’m so grateful for this second chance. I’m not crazy about taking numerous coins during my birthday week, but I remember my first sponsor always telling me it’s not for me, but for others in the room. So, I go and I collect them and I hope someone else is encouraged to keep “trudging” along. Have a great day!

  3. First off- CONGRATS on nine months! GO GIRL!!!!
    Second…on to the list! We are similar in SO MANY ways!!!! I SO agree with you on… (well really all of them, but especially…)
    #’s 1-7 (praise God for the dishwasher-how did our grandparents do it?! And yay for husbands jobs!!!); 9 &10; 13-17 (um- COFFEE- YES!! and Music- LOVE Pink and Bruno!!!!!); 21-28 ( AMEN to prozac- or for me Zoloft, Abilify and Topomax, but who’s counting?! And Netflix and FB? I mean come one- need we say more?!); 31- YES- sometimes you just NEED one like you need air to breathe. I GET it. Oh do I get it. I am a Diet Coke-aholic. It’s my one vice left- that and chocolate and carbs. Don’t mess with my few vices I have left! 🙂 LOL. GREAT list!!!!

    • Ha,ha! Thanks! Yeah, I got over the stigma of taking meds a long time ago – my “happy pills” as my husband calls them! And, believe me, I’m NOT happy when I’m not taking them. Thank God for modern medicine! Oh, and I had a nice, big Diet Coke yesterday and it was delish – and a hot dog and s’mores! And, I’m not feeling one ounce of guilt because, like you said, “don’t mess with my few vices!” Have a great day!

  4. Love all you had to say and you couldn’t of said it any better! I feel the exact same way on all your wonderful words! I love you and love your love for life! You are An amazing woman and keep that positve attitude and you will go far Chenoa! We are all a gift from god and we need live, laugh, love more or and smiles tons!

  5. You just inspired me to say I’m grateful for two days of sobriety. I’ve been in a funk for 48 hours that I’m starting this journey again. Trying to turn it around today. Shame and guilt is feeling pretty strong right now and my 14 year old daughter says she doesn’t believe I won’t drink again.

    • Thank you so much for your comment. Two days is great! Nice work! All you can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other. When I was in early recovery and had those moments of doubt, I just had to take it one hour at a time. We’ve let a lot of people down in our drinking days, so we have to understand the doubt and frustration they may feel. Just keep going forward – eventually, your daughter will see that your serious this time around. Are you going to any recovery meetings in your area? I found attending meetings in those first 30 days was extremely important to my recovery. I wish you all the best!

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