The Truth Behind My Gym Clothes

And, the hits keep coming on the health front around here. I’m convinced this is God’s way of reminding me that this is not my eternal home and complacency is not what this life is all about. Just when I thought we were out of the woods (no pun intended) after Tyler’s surgery, the tables were turned.

Okay, so admittedly, I ignored some symptoms that I shouldn’t have – lesson learned. I was so focused on Tyler’s surgery and recovery that I put off going to the doctor when I really should have. So, after a routine annual exam with my doctor last month, I was referred to not one, but two specialists. Over the past three weeks, I have had a pelvic ultrasound, abdominal CT scan and blood work. I have been to my OBGYN, a rehab specialist (for my neck) and a urologist. All of this has confirmed that I have two kidney stones, a faulty seal on my ureter (I didn’t even know that word existed before all this), a uterine polyp and a messed up neck muscle. In two weeks, I start PT for my neck and in a few weeks I’ll have a double whammy surgery for the stones, seal and polyp. And, ironically it will all take place at the same surgical center where Tyler had his neck surgery. Really?!?!

And, of course, all of this is happening in the last few weeks of school and t-ball season. It’s times like these, I look at Tyler and say, “Okay, what gives?” And, it’s also times like these I have to put it all in perspective. None of it’s life threatening and in the grand scheme of things I’m still pretty healthy. And, despite it all I can find the humor in it – thank God for the gift of laughter!

Speaking of finding the humor in things, there’s nothing like sitting in the waiting room at the urologist’s office. As I looked around and observed the 70+ couples sitting together, I couldn’t help but think to myself, “So this is what Tyler and I have to look forward to. Morning dates at the urologist’s office. Perfect.” Sitting there in my gym clothes (aka I’m too lazy to get dressed in real clothes), I have to admit I felt pretty good about myself considering my fellow patients. Well, the joke was on me, because once I sat down in the young doctor’s office and he started talking about broken ureter seals, kidney stones and oh by the way, do you run? And, I say no because I have bursitis in my knee and my neck’s messed up, and oh can you remove the stones while my OBGYN is removing my polyp – yeah, I realize that the gym clothes are a total mask to how I’m really doing inside. Ugh. Another lesson learned…again. Looks can be deceiving.

Driving home, I flashed back to my drinking days and I was reminded how my gym clothes were always a great cover up when I was drinking. Because, really, anyone who’s in decent shape and wearing gym clothes could never be an alcoholic, right? Um, wrong. Those of us who try to cover it up are sometimes the worse.

So, now I’m just laying it all out for you. No more hiding behind gym clothes or anything else. This is it. Life goes on and we deal with those struggles and obstacles that pop up along the way. We don’t drink; we don’t hide; we just take it one day, one minute and sometimes even one second at a time.

Today, I am SO (scream it on a mountain top) grateful to be sober and to have a faith in a God who will always carry me on His shoulders through it all…until I reach my eternal home.





9 responses

  1. Yikes, that’s a lot going on Chenoa. Love and prayers and wishes for a speedy recovery with all.
    Smiled at dates to the doctors’ offices. 🙂

  2. I drank in numerous pubs – I’d walk in normally afternoon, early evening wearing a suit. Most drinkers pubs at that time are full of people not in suits!

    I did this because it emphasised that “I’m not like them. I’m not what you think I might be”. But I was, and worse, I was lying, drinking in secret, moving about regularly etc. etc. etc.

    Like you say – those that hide it are the worst, esp those that have some belief that having the job, the car, the workout, the wife, the house, the whatever… meant they definitively weren’t what they really were.

    • Well said and so, so true. I still get the strange looks and the “I would have never thought!” when people find out I’m a recovering alcoholic. It’s a big part of why I share my story – to show others that it can happen to anyone, anywhere.

  3. Can you feel the power that your sobriety creates, thus allowing you to get through these obstacles easier? It’s wonderful isn’t it?

    I love the way you replace a glass of wine with humor; and yes, we all wear gym clothes. Every single one of us shows the world what we think they want to see, and another marvellous side issue of giving up drinking is you can see this much clearer.

    Good luck to you on your obstacle course, but it sounds like you won’t need it!


    • Yes, Lee! Sobriety = power on so many levels for me. Mostly, power to take control of my life and be present in everything. I must say, it’s pretty damn awesome! Hope all is well on your end. Hoping to get back into the blogging world once things slow down around here.

  4. Thanks for your candid take on “hiding behind.” I’m going to be working this one around in my brain and heart for a while. No need to hide – and this world is not my home either. 🙂

    Best, Chenoa!

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