Dirty Girl

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Dirty Girl Mud Run. Check.

Last Saturday, I participated in and finished my first mud run. It was awesome, amazing, dirty – and I loved every minute of it! I was on a team with four other women, appropriately named Mudlife Crisis!

This picture is so representative of the past year for me. A number of phrases and metaphors come to mind when I look at it: “one step at a time,” “no pain, no gain,” “do the impossible,” “every rose has it’s thorn,” “look toward the future,” “reach for the stars,” “one day at a time” just to name a few. But, really, that smile says it all – a sense of accomplishment.

I haven’t always been good at following through with things. I’m a big idea person. I’ve accomplished some great things in my life, but I’ve had even greater ideas. And, when I was drinking I had REALLY good ideas and intentions. At one point, I was going to start a business, sell jewelry, sell makeup, sew all my own clothes (seriously), raise chickens, get my real estate license, get certified to be a fitness trainer, start blogs, stop blogs and the list goes on. I would plan parties and cancel them; I would schedule lunches and dinners and back out at the last minute; I would commit myself to something and then find a reason I couldn’t do it. And, I did all of these things with no regard to how it affected others. Me, me, me – that’s all I thought about.

I’m far from a saint these days, but I do my very best to follow through with what I say I’m going to do. You would think it’s pretty simple, but for someone like me it takes discipline. And, it also requires learning to say “No.” Learning to be responsible and take control of my life has been consequential to my recovery. I can’t do it all and I can’t always make everyone happy, but I can show up and do my best.

This past weekend, I showed up and got really dirty in the process – and it was great!