Dirty Girl


Dirty Girl Mud Run. Check.

Last Saturday, I participated in and finished my first mud run. It was awesome, amazing, dirty – and I loved every minute of it! I was on a team with four other women, appropriately named Mudlife Crisis!

This picture is so representative of the past year for me. A number of phrases and metaphors come to mind when I look at it: “one step at a time,” “no pain, no gain,” “do the impossible,” “every rose has it’s thorn,” “look toward the future,” “reach for the stars,” “one day at a time” just to name a few. But, really, that smile says it all – a sense of accomplishment.

I haven’t always been good at following through with things. I’m a big idea person. I’ve accomplished some great things in my life, but I’ve had even greater ideas. And, when I was drinking I had REALLY good ideas and intentions. At one point, I was going to start a business, sell jewelry, sell makeup, sew all my own clothes (seriously), raise chickens, get my real estate license, get certified to be a fitness trainer, start blogs, stop blogs and the list goes on. I would plan parties and cancel them; I would schedule lunches and dinners and back out at the last minute; I would commit myself to something and then find a reason I couldn’t do it. And, I did all of these things with no regard to how it affected others. Me, me, me – that’s all I thought about.

I’m far from a saint these days, but I do my very best to follow through with what I say I’m going to do. You would think it’s pretty simple, but for someone like me it takes discipline. And, it also requires learning to say “No.” Learning to be responsible and take control of my life has been consequential to my recovery. I can’t do it all and I can’t always make everyone happy, but I can show up and do my best.

This past weekend, I showed up and got really dirty in the process – and it was great!

Making Things Happen

Henry David Thoreau

I did it! I FINALLY registered for my first mud run! What the heck is a “mud run” you might ask? Well, it’s usually a 5k run and obstacle course that takes place in the mud. Yes, that’s correct, in the mud. They’ve gained in popularity over the past few years and I’ve been wanting to do one ever since I first heard about them.

Let’s get this straight. I’m not a runner. I gave up running years ago when I developed bursitis in my knee (getting old sucks!). However, I do excercise on a regular basis, which mainly includes the elliptical and light weights. I figure I can survive the moderate running portion, but I’ll LOVE the muddy obstacle course. I mean, really, how often do grown women have an excuse to roll around in the mud by choice!?

If you ask my husband, I’ve been talking (key word) about doing a mud run for over a year now. I would research them, figure out which one would be best for me…and then do nothing.

When I was drinking, I had A LOT of great ideas. Oh, and let me tell you, they were great alright. I was that typical person who would talk and talk about ALL the things I was going to do, yet never actually take the step to do them. That little voice inside my head would somehow talk me out of it and I would find myself back at the beginning, talking but never doing.

When I got sober I realized fear had kept me from taking that first step from talking to actually doing. Fear had been that little voice inside my head saying “you can’t do that,” “you’re not good enough,” “what would people think?” Fear had held me back from truly living my life.

With this new year of resolutions and goals, I decided fear was no longer going to rule my life. So, when my friend told me about the mud run, I said “yes!” Before thinking, talking or debating it, I went online and registered. There. It’s done. I’m doing it.

Don’t let fear rule your life. Stop talking and start doing. Yes, it’s that easy.